It’s been a great blessing to me personally to participate in the Diversity Ministry Team.  One of the main goals of this group is to provide a safe place for exploring issues that are societal is scope but that touch us in deeply personal ways. As we’ve talked about how we, as individuals and as a church community, can affirm the full spectrum of values, abilities, personalities and physiologies that together define humankind,  I have been led to examine my own sense of self—how I view my identity and how I think I am seen by others.

Some time ago I realized—to my surprise—that virtually every day of my life I think about being Asian-American. The fact is, my identity is inextricably linked to my race. In a perfect world, this might not be so—but in the society into which I was born, it is a reality. Whether I’m riding on a BART train, sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or just walking down the sidewalk, I am usually conscious of being Asian—and,  for me, this equates to a constant feeling of being “different.” I suspect that this is a common experience among people of color, LGBT people, immigrants, people with disabilities, and others whose characteristics or circumstances don’t conform to the dominant American culture.

In seeking to honor diversity we strive to recognize the feelings of being different that many individuals in our society live with as a fact of life. Our quest is not to eliminate these feelings but to accommodate them in all that we do. We strive to be more aware, more sensitive and more accepting, not only of the differences among us, but of the sense of difference that is an integral aspect of self-identity for many members of our society.

Learn more about First Congregational Church of Berkeley.

I am writing to provide a brief description of the work we’ve been undertaking in the Diversity Ministry Team.  Our team is seeking to build awareness, understanding and competencies related to diversity issues, both within our church community and along with the wider denomination.

In discussing diversity in this team, my experience is … one of differences!  We don’t try to construct a common front or ideology.  We share problems, opportunities and surprises from within our church life, looking at these in various different ways.  We listen to each other, embracing differences in approach or response.  We also often find ourselves providing affirmation to one another in dealing with difficulties.

This statement isn’t a full history of the issues we’ve discussed, on some of which we’ve taken action.  I’m focusing in this statement just on the approach we are coming up with.

The approach we seem to share the most is the idea that diversity exists in many ways in our community, and that by looking for it and appreciating its many and sometimes less than obvious forms, we’re sensitizing ourselves for broader kinds of diversity.  We hope also to help to enliven our church boards and committees using this approach.

Our team formulated an offering for the boards and ministries of the church.  We offer a workshop that focuses on uncovering the diversity that already exists in our groups, and on thinking how to marshal it in our church work.  We prefer to call this a diversity awareness exercise, rather than using other terms that may be common.  This exercise can be experienced within a regular meeting of the group.

We adopted the following mission statement a year and a half ago:

The Diversity Ministry Team gathers monthly to discuss issues of diversity, inclusiveness and hospitality in the context of FCCB and the larger United Church of Christ denomination. We seek to discern how to respond to the UCC’s 1993 General Synod pronouncement for all UCC churches to become “multicultural and multiracial.” We recognize that, despite much progress in our denomination and beyond, intolerance, discrimination and prejudice are still realities in regard to race, sexuality, religion, class, age, and ability. We seek to provide a space and offer resources for open conversation about these challenging issues at FCCB and in our greater community.

One chilly, rainy Friday night in February the sense of safety and sanctuary I feel at my church was shaken. I am not writing of the vulnerability to crime the church shares with other locations in this and countless other cities. What happened did not concern my physical safety, but a particular, psychological sense of security. I believe what happened could have happened, does happen, and will continue to happen for some time just about anywhere, sadly.

I was leaving my church after stopping by after work to pick up or drop off some music for a future worship service. It was sufficiently cold that I was wearing my heaviest, down-filled black jacket. It must have become sufficiently rainy that I decided I needed to use my black, automatic umbrella (something I tend to put off doing until the rain is quite bothersome—or threatening to my hair…) A couple perhaps in their 60s was walking toward me, in the opposite direction, on the sidewalk next to the parking lot. They may have been headed for a concert I knew was taking place in the church building that night, or some other event there. I was raising my umbrella slightly and simultaneously opening it by pressing the button on its handle. At that moment, the couple was just a few feet in front of me and facing me. Right as I made my opening motion with the umbrella, the woman gasped, jumped, and grabbed her companion, all at once. My umbrella opened immediately afterward, and I instinctively smiled and said, “hello.” In that moment, I may have sensed something disturbing or strange, but I try to smile and greet people at church. We all continued walking our respective ways, and as we grew farther apart, I heard the woman say to her companion, “I thought she…”

I did not hear or remember clearly what followed. I generally try my best to avoid making assumptions about people I do not know, but I simply cannot help being certain that the woman was saying she thought I had some kind of weapon, which I seemed to be drawing right then. And this thought hurt me so much. It came to me about one minute after our encounter. I am a brown person, and by all appearances, the couple was white. Can opening automatic umbrellas startle people generally? I suppose so. But it was raining. And the woman seemed not to react simply to the motion of the umbrella, but also to what she thought the situation was. I cannot help thinking that there would have been no such scenario in her mind had I not been a brown person. I left what was to be a simple errand involving my church very sad and upset.

I benefited from one of many safe spaces that have developed here at FCCB, when I shared my experience and feelings about it with the Diversity Ministry Team shortly afterward. The members present listened and expressed their sorrow and support for me in my pain and bewilderment. I am grateful for this caring support as well as so many other discussions of identity, welcome and different perspectives that we have shared.

At the beginning of the school year I looked over the field of difference in the children of the Berkeley public school second grade classroom where I would be spending a few hours each week during the coming months. There was a confusion of color and circumstance, culture and ethnicity—some of it readily apparent, much of it not. I later learned that some of the shades of beautiful brown skin were blends: African American/Japanese; Samoan/Filipino; African American/Mexican; Brazilian/Japanese. Three white boys each had two moms. The parents of a serious and solemn student were in the process of divorce. Children of Mexican, Fijian, Argentinian, Italian and Greek parentage enriched the mixture. Two girls, one of Pakistani descent and the other of Indian, were on the way to becoming best friends.

As a novice teacher’s assistant, I wondered how and whom I might help. How and why did I miss the light-skinned, fair-haired girl who regularly—and secretly—chose to draw rather than struggle with the challenges of reading, writing and arithmetic? What assumptions was I making?

The answers to these simple questions have become clearer to me through conversations in gatherings of the Diversity Ministry Team as it explores issues of discrimination and injustice both close at hand and in the wider community. I am grateful for the wisdom and assurance here that taking small steps contributes to developing awareness and addressing such significant issues.

Recently there have been several articles about the suicides of gay teens that were largely responses to peer pressure or bullying. In response, gay writer and activist Dan Savage created the “It Gets Better Project.” He and his partner created a video talking about how it got better for them as gay men after high school. He also invited others to record their own “it gets better” video messages and post them to YouTube.

One of the people who posted a video is Tim Gunn, who is one of the “hosts” of Project Runway (actually the role he serves on the show is more as a mentor and “den mother” to the group of designers.) In it he confesses that he attempted suicide at age 17 in despair over his sexual orientation. It is an honest and moving moment and in my opinion shows a great deal of integrity.

I would hope that the children and youth in our church would be experiencing a place where it already is better. I would hope that we would find many ways to let them know that they we love them precisely for who they are. Junior high and high school can be challenging for any youth regardless of her or his orientation. Everyone needs support, affirmation, encouragement and love. Each of us deserves it.

Each day, perhaps several times a day, we encounter people who seem to be like us and people who seem different, in one way or another. How do we react to difference? I would guess that sometimes we are made uncomfortable by it and sometimes we are attracted to it.

Imagine one of your friends: in what ways are you like them and in what ways are you not alike? This may help us to recognize a simple truth: that difference can be quite enlivening. We are often intrigued by new people, new ideas and new experiences. Thank God everyone isn’t like me!

Perhaps recognizing our attraction to difference can help us when we encounter differences that push us—that make us feel uncomfortable or unsafe. To “step over” these initial responses, often based in the more fundamental responses of fear, anxiety or defensiveness, will allow us to move into new territory that can be enlivening, illuminating and fun. We can simply choose to relax in the face of challenge rather than feeling the need to “defend.” We can move toward relationship rather than away from it.

We needn’t judge our initial responses to others, positive or negative. They are just there. But we need not remain trapped by them either. To remember that difference is a powerful and even crucial element of modern life can lead us to new possibilities, new awareness, new life.